There's never such a thing as too soon. Not for Akaya, when it comes to Yukimura. It's like this every time they fight and spend time away from each other. Everything about him consumes his mind. He can't stop thinking about him and them. Maybe some would say he will burn out if he keeps this up, but Akaya wouldn't think so. He's got endless reserves of whatever this is.
It doesn't matter if Yukimura can drive him fucking crazy sometimes. He always knows the moment he sees his face again that it's worth it. Akaya can be so focused and reasonable when it comes to his professional responsibilities, but when it comes to love, all bets are off. If there's a part of him that realizes how irrational he can be, he ignores it every time.
He let Yukimura pick the restaurant. The location is not important. He looks a bit harried and anxious, but he doesn't care. He doesn't bother being shown to the room by the wait staff, rushing past the guy without a second glance for the room. He slides the door open.
Letting him pick the restaurant had been a smart move on Akaya's part. And in turn, Yuki tried to make a choice that would offer both of them a favorite dish. Akaya liked grilled meat, and grilled fish is one of his personal favorites.
He's mulling over the menu when the door slides open, and it's a little painful to see. However bitter the fight, Yuki cares deeply for Akaya, and it's clearly been a difficult few days for him. He seems so anxious, almost frantic. How can Yuki do anything except try to set him at ease?
It's that genuine desire to bring comfort rather than further pain that overrides his own lingering grudges from their latest fight, and has Yuki greeting his lover with a reserved but warm smile.
"Akaya. It's good to see you."
Possibly not the most romantic way to greet a partner of two years, but something more forward... this is the first time seeing each other since. It's always a little awkward, these first few minutes. They'll work back up to more intimate talk.
Good to see you. It sounds weirdly distant, and yet at the same time so very Yuki. Akaya wonders if he's really as calm as he looks. It's hard to tell sometimes, with him. But he's going to not think about that right now, because it is good to see him. It always feels like forever when they stop talking.
"Yeah," he says, venturing a grin.
He pulls out a chair and drops into it.
"So..."
He pauses awkwardly. Really, Akaya doesn't do awkward. Only Yukimura can make him this way.
They really just both want the fight to be done with, don't they? Fully letting go isn't so easy for him, and yet he hates the lingering tension in the air from this stilted conversation. And there's really only one way to resolve that, and it's on him to do it.
Yuki places a hand on Akaya's menu and pushes it a half-inch towards him indicatively.
"I browsed the menu a little. There's an appetizer for hot wings if you're interested in a spicy start."
This is Yuki's style: least said, soonest mended. He can't forget what happened, but acting as though it didn't is the most efficient way to move past it. In a way, that also means avoiding talking about themselves and what Akaya's been up to lately. After all, wouldn't stewing over the fight comprise a good chunk of it?
That's it? Or is this just his way of easing into the conversation? Akaya hesitates for a moment before he takes the menu. He doesn't look at it, fixing his gaze on Yukimura instead.
Fuck it, he hates this walking around on eggshells business.
What a loaded question. He should have known the skirt-the-issue approach wasn't going to be accepted, of course. Isn't that the whole reason they fought in the first place?
But if that's the way Akaya insists to play it, Yuki won't be the one to admit he's been miserable. He chuckles mildly.
"Life is as busy as ever. Next week is the deadline for recording vocals on the new album. Tashigi booked an interview with Good Morning Japan for the 14th to promote it. Then in two months we start touring.
Is this how he's going to play it? Akaya doesn't even try to hide the frustration in his face at Yukimura's safe answer. If he wanted to hear about the day in the life of Yukimura Seiichi, he'd read about it in the celebrity blogs.
Yukimura's smile fades. He's disappointed, but perhaps not surprised.
"Is this really what you want?" He asks sadly. Personally, he had hoped that if they were going to meet back up, they might be able to enjoy at least a few minutes together without it devolving into argument all over again.
He can't stand that look of disappointment in his face. Like he did something wrong by bringing up the obvious. Akaya isn't as good at pretending things are okay as Yukimura is. And really, he has always been loathe to disappoint him. Must be a habit from the days when he called him captain. Shit just doesn't go away.
"I don't want to fight, if that's what you mean," he says somewhat defensively. But he checks himself after a moment and continues with a little less guard: "I missed you."
"Ganging up!" Nami half-cries from the other side of the curtain. "This is your band, isn't it? Show a little leadership and deal with the legwork. Really, we're just here to play. And help you look great."
She talks like she's scandalized, but it's playful banter to her.
In a way, Yukimura envies this ability of Akaya's to be so earnest and direct even with a statement that makes him so vulnerable. That level of comfort with self-exposure is a freedom for Akaya to be fully himself whatever the circumstances. For Yuki, it simply isn't the same, and never has been. He wouldn't change himself, but he can recognize his style's drawbacks along with its strengths.
"It's difficult when we fight," he says in return. It's his own way of conceding the same.
Akaya gives him a look, a slightly exasperated cock of his head. Well, he'll take what he can get. He laughs and presses closer, offering up his face. Kiss it, if you want to. You know you do.
"Oi, being a leader means I get to tell other people to do the legwork! You're just lucky I'm such a nice guy," he says shamelessly. He might even mean it. He definitely believes the next thing he says:
Despite himself, Yuki feels a humored smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Really, Akaya is the biggest brat he's ever seen-- and the absolute last person who should never be resisted. Which is why Yuki isn't going to jump into that kiss Akaya's pushing for just yet.
"That doesn't sound like much of a challenge for you," he teases.
No, but Yuki doesn't think Akaya would enjoy a lack of any challenge as much as he suggests. It's part of his nature to push boundaries, and where would the fun for him be if the boundaries simply didn't exist?
Yuki leans in enough enough to touch their noses and foreheads together.
"I see. So that's free license for you to run wild with the reins?" Akaya should know better than that. Yuki may be soft-spoken, but he isn't the type to passively lie down. He has a competitive streak a mile wide himself.
"Maybe," he says, grinning at him as their foreheads touch.
Yuki's not fooling anyone. Akaya knows Yukimura thrives just as much on the challenge as he does. It might not always be stress-free, but he thinks it's well worth the whirlwind. Akaya doesn't just prefer spice in his food, after all.
He reaches up and runs the back of his fingers down Yukimura's cheek.
He's still grinning when Yukimura leans in for the kiss. Always a little cocky, yes. But there can be some uncertainty, too. It makes the moment better, more real. If Akaya says what he means, then Yukimura shows it. Or so he'd like to believe. He slides that hand behind Yukimura's neck and pulls him into a deeper kiss.
And now it's okay. Ultimately it doesn't matter much whether breaking the ice happens by pretending the fight never happened or by acknowledging it did and slipping into some back and forth.
He doesn't rush the kiss, but guides it towards a natural close rather than encourage it to grow into a full-blown makeout session. This isn't really the place for that, and baby steps, after all.
"How much time do you have after we eat? I can find a couple of hours."
The kiss doesn't last half as long as he'd like, and he makes a dissatisfied sound in the back of his throat when Yukimura pulls away. Akaya isn't an exhibitionist or anything, but he doesn't really care about privacy much, either.
"Depends on how long it takes us to eat," he says, cheeky. The quicker they finish up here, the quicker they can get to other things. Since Yukimura is going to insist on eating dinner of all things, at a restaurant.
"My kingdom for a home cooked meal! How could I resist?"
Taiyou takes a fork with exaggerated flourish and shovels a good bite of food into her mouth. How romantic! She giggles through the mouthful with chipmunk cheeks.
"Oh, we won the lottery," she bats back with a smile and roll of her eyes. She says it flippantly, but there's a reason they've stuck with him, and it is nice that Akaya knows that without needing to be told. Nami has never been much of a vocally affectionate sort towards guys. This is far more her style when it comes to expressing fondness towards them.
"So since you don't need help looking good, I suppose you already know what you're going to be wearing on tour?"
Yuki looks at him with some amusement. "Then I suggest you may want to browse the menu-- unless you already know what you're ordering?"
He can tell that Akaya is impatient. It's unsurprising; for someone so outwardly wild and independent, Akaya is a strongly affectionate sort, and it seems to take its toll especially when they're separated for a time, whether because of a fight or because of scheduling difficulties. It's hard for Yuki to admit, but it's one of the things he most likes about him.
This perhaps just isn't the most opportune time for it to manifest itself.
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